You wonder whether your subconcious actually likes you at all sometimes.

A full week trying really hard for this exam, dreaming about it all the time so i refuse to sleep, get it done, don’t do that well, and have two dreams about it again.

No brain. I know you hate me, but can i dream about unicorns that shit ice cream or something nice, not the things i fail at all day, like not going to enough gigs, and getting kicked out of places for being underage. Cuz that’s shit and i hate it.

Evolution must have gone a bit wrong somewhere, surely the brain wants me to survive, be the alpha male, and shag my way around Shropshire?

Well fuck you subconcious, you’re being a cunt, unless you want me to live by a railway track, fuck off and stop being aforemention quente

I love my brother.

“Well i have horrible exam dreams as well. Except the exam i failed was vaginal delivery. So i had a nightmare about vaginal delivery. While you’re dreaming about chemicals and equations, i’m dreaming about plastic fannys.”

Oh I love, oh I love, oh I love
What you do to my heart
When you push me back down
And then pull me apart

“Everyone’s Different” is my new motto. Could get a tattoo of it on my arm, or forehead, to make it clearer. If there’s one thing Miss Stock has taught me it’s that, you guessed it guys, “Everyone’s Different”

Footballers continue to be great role models for children.

Cheat on your wives, and your colleagues, shoot work experience children, crash expensive cars, kick people from behind, throw in a bit racial abuse and getting your superiors fired for your bitching. Don’t try to succeed, just to try not to lose and hope and pray the other team has an off day.

And those are the ones that won. Admittedly the losers had an underage prostitute user.

But ah well.

Bleh, i’m a cunt

If i seem a bit morose, that’s probably just the crushing realisation of how screwed i am, and things like “Cheer up!” aren’t happy, because, well, that won’t do it really. And also don’t ask why i’m grumpy, because it’s a really long boring story with me moaning, just like this one. Ok. Goodbye.

Hey check it out. I’m genuinely smiling here. I couldn’t if a camera was pointed at my face. But still, genuine joy. This was a really nice night. Maybe not for people watching, but i felt top of the world. Glen was awesome. We had fun.

I’ll be the one to show you the way
You’ll be the one to always complain
Three in the morning come-a bang bang bang
All out of fags and I just can’t wait
Cancel the thing that I said I’d do
I don’t feel comfortable talkin’ to you
‘Less you got the zipper fixed on my shoe
Then I’ll be in the lobby drinking for two